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Hello, this is 6 Minute English
from BBC Learning English. I'm Neil.
And I'm Beth.
In this programme,
we're talking about politeness.
Britain has a reputation
for being a polite place
where children are told to say please
and thank you,
but in real life
that isn't always true.
You, give me that pen!
I'm sorry.
That was a bit rude.
Well, what should I have said?
How about – Neil,
please could you pass me the pen?
Fine. Neil,
could you please pass me the pen?
There you go! That's much better.
Now listen, as BBC Radio 4 presenter
Michael Rosen, who is a well-known poet
and children's author in Britain,
describes what happened to him one day
Recently, this is how it went.
A boy was walking past me
in the street, stopped and said,
Hey, you're thingy, innit!
Now, that one seems to break
all the rules.
And because it broke the rules,
it gave me a problem.
How do I answer it?
A boy saw Michael Rosen and said,
Hey, you're thingy, innit!
He used the word, thingy,
because although he recognised Michael,
he couldn't remember his name.
He also said innit, which is short for
isn't it, to emphasise what he'd said.
So, was the boy being impolite
or was he just happy meeting
a famous person in the street?
And why do we teach kids to be polite
in the first place?
That's what we'll be discussing
in this programme,
using some useful new vocabulary.
But first,
I have a question for you, Neil.
The British are well known
for being polite, as we've said,
and there's even an idiom we use in
certain situations to remind someone
to be especially polite.
But what is it?
Is it: a) mind your As and Bs,
b) mind your Ps and Qs,
or c) mind your Xs and Ys?
Well, I know the answer to this,
but I'm going to say c) mind your Xs
and Ys, because I think it's brilliant.
OK. Interesting!
Well, we'll find out the correct
answer later in the programme.
So, let's return to the boy who said,
Hey, you're thingy innit!
to famous poet Michael Rosen.
Was that impolite or not?
Professor Louise Mullany, who studies
the language of politeness,
has an answer.
She thinks that politeness
is as much to do
with the person being spoken to
as the person speaking,
as she explained to BBC Radio 4
programme, Word of Mouth.
I think the crucial thing there is
in how you've perceived it.
So, obviously he's not giving us
the conventional,
Oh, good afternoon, Mr. Rosen,
or a more formal approach.
It's very, very informal...
and he can't remember your name,
and he's saying, innit!
Now, that has been interpreted by you
as non-threatening to you.
You don't see him as insulting you,
and you're actually
quite kindly disposed to that person.
So, you haven't interpreted it
as offensive or aggressive.
You said – I think you described it
as being quite civil, actually.
Michael Rosen didn't feel
that the boy was insulting him.
To insult someone means to be rude
or offensive to them.
Although his speech was
very informal,
Michael thought the boy was actually
pleased to see him, not rude at all.
Michael was well disposed to the boy –
he liked and approved of him.
So, you could say
that politeness is subjective.
If Michael doesn't feel offended,
then where is the offence?
Then why do we teach children
to be polite at all?
Well, according to Professor Mulaney,
it's to do with the rules of society.
That's right. Louise thinks that
by teaching our kids politeness,
they enjoy the benefits
of being accepted in society.
So, imagine how embarrassed she felt
when her two-year-old daughter
repeatedly ignored the cook at her
nursery school and refused to say hello.
Here's Louise Melanie telling the
story to BBC Radio 4's Word of Mouth.
The cook looked so disappointed.
And as I mention in the book,
it felt to me like there were lots
of other children skipping – skipping
and jumping past going hello,
being really friendly children,
and my daughter was just there.
And we started to make excuses
for her like – Oh, she's tired.
Oh, she's teething.
She's this and she's that.
Because the embarrassment was
so strong.
And I felt awful walking back
past the kitchen on my way out.
I was almost trying
to hide my face, going –
I'm the one
with the really rude child.
When her daughter didn't say hello to
an adult, Louise made excuses for her.
If you make excuses for someone,
you try to explain the reasons
for their behaviour.
For example,
Louise said her daughter was tired,
she was growing new teeth,
she was this and that.
The idiom, this and that, can be used
to describe various unspecified things.
For example, if someone asks
what you did this afternoon,
you might reply – Oh, not much.
I stayed at home,
I watched TV, I did this and that.
Politeness means different things
to different people,
but we still like it when
people are polite to us, and I think
the polite thing to do now is reveal
the answer to my question, Neil.
So, the idiom that we use
to remind someone to be polite is...
not mind your Xs and Ys –
I'm sorry, Neil.
It's mind your Ps and Qs.
That's a shame.
Xs and Ys is much better.
OK. Now, let's recap the vocabulary
we've learnt,
starting with 'thingy',
an informal word that's used
if you can't remember
someone's or something's name.
People also use the slang words,
'what's-his-name' or 'what's-her-name',
for the same reason.
'Innit' is a short form
of the tag question, isn't it.
It's used to add emphasis
to a statement.
The adjective 'insulting' means rude
or offensive.
If you are well disposed to someone
you like and approve of them.
When you make excuses for someone,
you explain the reasons
for their bad behaviour.
And finally, the idiom 'this and that'
describes various unspecified things.
Once again, our six minutes are up,
but why not test yourself with
the programme quiz and worksheet,
available now on our website
bbclearningenglish.com.
Goodbye for now.
Bye!
Vocabulary
Word 1 of 15politeness
word
0:13
"behaviour that shows respect and consideration for other people."
More Listening Practice
About this lesson
Discuss why politeness matters in everyday life and how it varies across different cultures in this 6 Minute English episode.